As per usual we are subject to another filler episode of “The Bachelor”, where nothing really happens, but it got us to where we needed to be. Spoilers ahead.
We continued to tour around South America with Peter speaking what I can only assume is choppy Spanish (to keep trying to sell this myth that he’s mildly exotic). The days have blended together, as have the women’s mascara.
Of Course Natasha was Going Home
It’s cute that the producers even wanted to pretend that anyone ethnic had a chance at making it to the end. Short of Rachel Lindsay (who ended up picking someone white) “The Bachelor” proves time and time again that it’s aimed at a specific audience, and that audience is caucasian.
The fact that no other shows exist in the mainstream that DOES show people of other ethnicities portrayed in a similar fairytale light is an issue. I look forward to the day when I have confidence in anyone not lily white winning the show. I think it’s more likely that we’ll get a white LGBTQ contestant before we get say an Asian Bachelor.
Why Buy the Cow?
The premise of the 3:1 date was great, but we had all of Peter’s favorites on there so there was a moment of me questioning who would go home.
Victoria P’s meltdown seemed to indicate that there was a possibility she was finally going to implode. However the minute Kelley began professing how she was the obvious choice it was clear it was going to be curtains for her.
Her only redeeming quality so far had been her confidence and lack of willingness to fret over his emotions. This clearly backfired when she came off as needy and desperate. Hubris has brought down better people than her.
She clearly was unable to read the room when she kept saying they were having “fun” and Peter outright said he was interested in something more serious. While all of these “relationships” are built on nothing, this is where her unwillingness to play the game got her.
The best part of her hypocrisy was when she was going on about the others on the 3:1 date (Victoria P and Madison - who for some reason is now being referred to as Maddie?) as being immature. The way she went about it was the least mature thing in the world. Oh and for the record I agree with her. They are indeed future child brides.
Assuming my hypothesis that Peter and Kelley hooked up before the show is correct, there was no way he was going to put a ring on it. He already got the proverbial milk for free.
The Cardinal Rule
Peter did do ONE interesting thing this episode, he broke what seems to be the cardinal rule for any main contestant. You don’t tell a contestant you’re falling in love with them outright. Unless he picks ol’ Maddie in the end this spells trouble.
Credit Where Credit is Due
This episode is the most sane Kelsey has sounded. Peter was eating up her sob story about her parents (as we’ve learned he feeds on the tears of women). She was annoying as hell when she was talking about her issues, but at least she was calm.
Hometowns on the Horizon
This is what we’ve been building to. The true litmus test of these relationships. I am still scarred by the bizarro German? Chant that Peter’s family performed when he was on the receiving end of a Hometown visit.
To Kelley’s point - Peter continued to go on and on about how he was ready for marriage and wanted someone who was ready in turn. Of course he picked the youngest candidates to take this next important step.
The latest interviews, reviews, and opinions on film by Dana Han-Klein. Thoughts and opinions are entirely my own and not reflective of my employer or any third parties.